Sunday, March 21, 2010

Ready to share again

I think that we all know the challenges life has. Some of us destined to face bigger ones then others. Still you should not judge some one else based on how easy or hard there life has been. No one has a free from feeling ride in life. Things may appear to be happy for the other side of the road but get close and listen at the door and then know the other persons reality. No one can truly understand what some else thinks or feels. We all make assumptions about others. Why as people do we do this? To make us feel better? Is it weakness on our part to want others to have a harder time in life? Or if we think that they have a better life we judge them as well! You can never walk a mile in someones emotional shoes! Too much goes into that and it could never be possible. We could how ever give others the chance to show who they are and what they are made of. The substance of a person is what matters! But know that no one is who we think they are. Every person has a private self. I know vary few people I share that self with and feel safe doing so.I speak with my inner voice to few people, the people I trust and love. I am open and kind to other friends just not as intimate with my feelings and thoughts. It is a self regulation I think we all do. It protects us and makes those close connections special. I admit I have not shared half of the things that have happened in my life with you because I need to protect my feelings. I share what I think I can. I did have someone ask why I did not get more detailed about my abuse as a child. Well, because this is not a work of fiction or a is my real life! My goal was to reach people and share how I have grown and changed, to show it is possible for anyone. I keep information and details to myself because they are painful. I could write about them for shock value or to entertain you and keep ya reading. But that is not my goal. I lived in hell and never wish that anyone know how that feels. Most people who have been in my childhood shoes commit suicide or become abusers themselves.It is my walk into survival that I want to share, not my victimization!I had to step away from my original format to deal with my feeling that crashed in on my physique like a bolder. I am ready to get back on track and start diving in to my soul again. I will give you what I can, on my terms. Read it if you want to, learn from it if you can, and know it is all about healing. Me and you! Know that this is soooo fucking hard to do and respect that!

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